Am sitting with a fair bit of anxiety at the moment, it hits me and sits like rocks in my stomach, weighing me down.
I know what it is about, I thought it was a specific work thing but sitting with it today I know it is mostly about the mammogram I’m having a week from tomorrow. As the years go on the anxiety increases coming into this time of year. I can still hear the doctor at the genetic clinic saying the key was that five-year mark.
Five years, five years, five years, five years, five years.
Get through this year, promise to take care of myself then do another and another and another and another. Then let it be and settle into a proper perspective? What is a proper perspective and is there ever one?
I’ve got the lazies, I sat about in my pjs today, watching total trash – absolute utter trash – instead of sitting outside in the sunshine, warming my bones, reading a book and nurturing my soul.
Are you reading this? If so hello. So did they come?
Time given to caring for myself that is what the next week needs to be, calm and use strategies that I have been given. Let’s start with tomorrow.
Tomorrow …. warm sunshine, the back porch and my book – finish the one I have been reading all year and start another.
Tomorrow … walk, walk, walk – try 2kms and see how I go.
Tomorrow … breathe, sit with mindfulness, using the app with the man whose voice I find soothing.
Tomorrow, perhaps write some more.
So did they come? Those babies?