… a sneaky thing … sometimes you don’t even know that it is there, it becomes so a part of your life … the stress of your life that you don’t intellectually know what is happening. However your body knows, your body always knows.
This last 18 months has been fascinating in so many ways (What “The Cancer” showed me …) not least it seems is the discovery I have made about my body and its many reactions to anxiety and stress.
My job is a huge part of my life and a huge part of who I am. It is a job that means I find myself in situations that create stress and since returning from The Cancer … anxiety. It is a feeling that is all too familiar and makes me shudder a little. I remember those first few months in this job, so many things created this overwhelming feeling of anxiety. It came on during the day whilst at work and it came on at night, it took away my life by filling my thoughts, stealing my sleep. And since coming back to work in July last year that anxiety has been present, I found this great psychologist who has helped me work thought the stress, finding strategies to calm me and ensure I breathe. One of the best things she has enabled is the discovery that my body screams at me when I am anxious, I just need to listen to it. When I am anxious my stomach drops and rolls, over and over. I forget to breathe; I talk fast, my leg jigs about non stop. All I have to do is listen, notice and work out what is making me anxious and then deal with that.
This last week has been a hard one in the anxiety stakes … and I am tired and that will have to be part two of this something …